#As a person with Aphantasia
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I can not get the image of Gwen and Jack sobbing over Ianto's body out of my head
#as a person with aphantasia#thats saying something#Torchwood#Torchwood spoilers ig#ianto Jones#captain jack harkness#gwen cooper#nor can I get the idea that Jack held off on dying to say goodbye because he really is just that stubborn#he even came back to life significantly less lively than usual#i am pained and I didn't sleep last night so I'm also exhaustedly#whoniverse#sorry I don't have anyone to talk to
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HOLY CRAP
I made a comic out of a certain section of The Book of Bill! It's one of my favorite bits. It's just so VISCERAL and disturbing, and I really wanted to try capturing that. Anyways, hope y'all like it lmao
#gravity falls#OH MY GOD?!?#As a person with Aphantasia#I didn't think that page from Book of Bill was THAT scary#BUT NOT ANYMORE HOLY CRAP#I'M SCARED#SOMEONE HUG ME#RUN TF AWAY STANFORD#RUN AWAYYY
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do you have aphantasia? :0
I do! I'm a 5.
Head empty. 🤣
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had the most vivid dream the other night where a girl from hs was running up to me and confidently yelled “oi! lamp head! ive got news for you” and dream me was like yes. i am lamp head that is the name i respond to. and then i looked in the mirror and i was wearing a lampshade on top my head. the rest of the dream no one else mentioned the lampshade
#lamp head. why did i dream that to be my personality#does anyone else with aphantasia dream in images but when you wake up you can’t picture it anymore#it’s so weird. dream me has more of a minds eye than real me#anyways all my lamp heads sign off in the comments 🫡
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Does anyone else just not have any visual imagination whatsoever. Like just, cannot picture things in their heads?
#starting to become frustrated#I think this is why I don’t typically like to read#why did someone who wants to be creative get stuck like this ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#instead I got a never ending monologue!#brain things#what I would give to be able to picture things in my head#how powerful my art would be SKSKSKSKSKSK (only half joking)#I have the coolest dreams and then I can’t ever acess the visual library my brain seems to have when I’m asleep#it’s so frustrating#aphantasia#personal#vent#kinda?
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every bmc character is neurodivergent and i don't just mean autism and adhd
#i said this exact same thing to smn but fuck it i'll say it here too#personality disorders are a part of neurodivergency!!!!!#bpd avpd jeremy. hpd bpd chloe. npd jake. they are all neurodivergent.#aphantasia christine and YES. aphantasia is a neurodivergence#sorry i'm kinda insane#be more chill#bmc#cause for rambles
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SzPD w/ aphantasia culture experiencing (lack of) emotions the same way you experience (lack of) visualization.
I can comprehend what's happening, I can fill in most blanks with just logic, but the actual substance is just... not there.
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#schizoid culture is#szpd#scpd#schizoid#schizoid pd#schizoid personality disorder#personality disorder#cluster a#cluster a pd#aphantasia
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I cannot go a day where I'm thinking about Hardcore Philza without thinking about Wolfy's Creature PMV... I just can't. It's like 2yrs old, but core memory type stuff. (^_^)
#argo-bolo originals#can't listen to the song without seeing it in my head either which is saying something when i have aphantasia#philza#wolfythewitch#appreciate ya wolfy 👍 probably wouldn't've heard the song without you and it's one of my personal top ten songs i listen to recenter myself
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I’m just going to give a quick shout out to any neurodivergents who don’t have ADHD or autism.
You’re still valid if you:
Are dyslexic
Have aphantasia
Have synaesthesia
Have OCD
Have alexithymia
Are dysgraphic
Are dyscalculic
Have tourette syndrome
Are bipolar
Have a personality disorder
Have anxiety
Have an intellectual disability
Have down syndrome
Or more!
The jury might technically be out on a few of these, but if your condition affects your way of thinking and comes with a strong sense of identity, you are completely justified in calling yourself neurodivergent. Nobody should judge you for it.
#neurodivergence#neurospicy#actually adhd#neurodiversity#actually ocd#ocd#adhd#neurodivergent#autism#down syndrome#anxiety#bipolar#dyslexia#dyscalculia#synaesthesia#tourettes#intellectual disability#aphantasia#alexithymia#personality disorder#bpd
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#polls#hopefully this makes sense#aphantasia notwithstanding#i'm 3rd person and i was like 'is this weird or'
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When you discover you have aphantasia (no mental image at all, not even the faintest outline), proceed to start telling your partner about it, and he goes "First, I'm pretty sure when people talk about 'seeing' something in their head, it's not literal. More like a meraphore to explain a concept..."
And this is how you find out you were both born with the complete inability to conjure up any sort of mental imagery whatsoever, and both thought that terms like "imagining", or "seeing", or "visualising" meant exactly the same thing; but that same thing is completely different than what it means for the vast majority of the population!
Also, apparently, those that can't see anything (no outline of any object at all) in their minds are pretty rare. Basically, estimated at 0.8% of the population (1/125).
So, he and I having gotten together is basically as if, in a group of 250 people, the only two that don't have any form of mental imagery had somehow managed to find each other and get together!
We are both "internally blind" (unless we are dreaming)...
But I can voluntarily conjure up sounds, smells, tactile sensations, and tastes that aren't truly there at will.
While he can't.
If a song gets stuck in his head, he tells me that it's like the lyrics of the song are stuck in his brain spoken to the melody on repeat.
But he doesn't hear the voice of the singer, nor the other instruments playing. Again, he thought it was like that for everyone, and was amazed to discover I have access to a complete orchestra in there!
He also has an internal monologue, but that voice has no "identity". He doesn't hear his voice or someone else's voice, he just "hear words" following his thoughts.
His whole internal world pretty much exists in the form of pure concepts, intuitions, and internal abstract ideas; and for some reason, that makes his brain even more fascinating and sexier to me!
I actually can turn off any of the other internal senses and purely rely on concepts and abstract ideas myself to function (let's get real! The ability to concentrate hard enough that you can feel water that's not actually there on your skin is pretty useless other than for entertainment purposes), so I can technically function like him. The only difference is that I can access those other sensations should I wish to.
Perhaps the biggest difference is the songs getting stuck in my mind that play more clearly. I can cut off the instrument, but I prefer keeping them.
#Aphantasia#Personal#Apparently we are a bit of a statistical improbability!#Lol!#Makes me wonder if we'd had a kid together if that child would also have been aphantasic...
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@madeunmexico ask and you shall receive - happy christmas eve bestie <3 here are the mood boards for my kai coded mmc:
let me know if you want to see anyone/anything else!! i have a whole digital binder full of inspo references because they control my life
#obviously this is for my personal use - i have aphantasia so i heavily rely on images for my writing - all credit to the og artists/posts#i think the image i use for his face claim is meant to be kaz from six of crows ??#y'all should check out frostbite studios if you haven't already she's like my dream artist#i would actually die to commission real fan art from her one day lol#kai parker#my writing#tfl
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Something I've been pedantic about clarifying (correcting, it's a bad habit I'm really working to break t_t) when I see it casually is people saying aphantasia is the complete absence of a mind's eye or mental voice. Technically the term just means lack of the mind's eye; more specifically it's a scale ranging from the full and total ability to imagine perfect lifelike visuals purely mentally at one extreme, and the absolute inability to visualize absent external physical stimulus (total aphantasia - that's what I have!). I'd been bothered for a while, though, by my lack of information of the mental voice side of things.
Apparently the term for it is anauralia! Still reading into it, as it isn't something that's been an issue I've had experience with, but from what I've learned so far it's quite similar to aphantasia - it's also a spectrum, with similar ranges of presentation and so on. As with aphantasia there are many larger questions or insights into cognition and neurology about the role of internality and imagination still being formed, although there's a lot less data on anauralia. It looks like it only started showing up in formal research in the last few years, partially as a result of research into aphantasia!
#No real conclusion I just thought this was cool#Neurology#Anauralia#ADHD#Haven't started actually reading any papers or anything yet#But there's a few I'm considering that do look at it in connection with ADHD and ASD!#Personally I'm fascinated by any potential overlaps/distinctions it has with aphantasia xD
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Blog Update
// Okay, so, since my accounts are spread out, I'm going to consolidate them here, I think, since I have a community for Gina.
That means that I'll be adding Kara Killgrave as a main muse here, and I think I'll probably also add Beelzebub as one, possibly?
And then I'll have some side muses that I use occasionally.
The main issue is that right now, neither Gina nor Kara have enough interest from people in terms of writing threads to make having separate blogs worth it.
So Gina isn't going anywhere, I'm just going to add to this account.
#ooc#I think my main issue is that personally I don't have much interest in just posting art and stuff#I want to WRITE and basically no one has a passion for writing vast amounts of text like I do#so I have very little to post and when you don't post things no one interacts#idk might be due to the fact that I have Aphantasia and so I can't visualize anything#like apparently people can close their eyes and see shit? I've never had that it's just blackness#I seriously thought imagination was like a metaphor#anyway point is I can't really have an account with no writing you know?
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In recent days I've been reading articles about aphantasia. Not to learn what it is, that I know. I have been curious about any recent developments in treatment. (Spoiler: no, there is nothing new.) Oddly, even searching specifically for "cure" and "treatment" most of what I find were just blurb after blurb about how weird the phenomenon is. The POV is all sideshow style, "Not able to picture an apple? How does that work? Did you know some of them can't even dream in color???????!!!1111??!!!!"
Color? I don't even dream in images. An extra vivid dream in my word is shadow puppets of off-black on pure black.
Seriously, though...y'all can all hallucinate at will, and you think I am weird? I won't say I am not envious, I 120% am, but it really does sound fake as fuck.
Hallucinate. At will! That is not even fair.
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i had to scroll a little bit on your blog but i found that the oc meme u reblogged!! 🥞 PANCAKE; 🚆 TRAIN; 💧 DROPLET; 💔 BROKEN HEART; 🌌 MILKY WAY. for nel of course heheh
i had to scroll my blog looking for the meme myself bc i forgot my own tag???? so i'm with u in solidarity there
🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?
the fluffiest possible banana pancakes known to man, fresh squeezed mango-orange juice, and a side of kiwi slices! and now im craving all of these thanks!
🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?
ok listen nel would like to believe she has a "smart" and "philosophical" answer to this question but her real answer would be this: destroy the trolley. she's a simple gal whose first course of action is usually violence alright. "but that's not one of the options!" some might say. to which nel would reply, "yeah, and?"
💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon
is it rly a headcanon if its my oc and therefore everything is canon for her 🤔? anyway, nel is an extremely recent devil fruit user aka she eats her fruit during her personal arc so she's used to being able to swim. she's a mermaid! swimming is her thing! the ocean is what kept her safe and protected while she was running from bishop and while she doesn't regret eating her df, the knowledge that she will never be able to swim again for any reasons hits her hard at times. mostly when her first instinct when luffy goes overboard is to jump in after him but then it hits her that she'd just make it worse.
💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?
literally everything sanji did during zou & whole cake island broke her heart into pieces - and pissed her off. this feels like such a cheap answer bc like "well, of couse sanji's self-destructive spiral would break her heart!" bc like OF COURSE? that's her idiot!
🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?
i've wanted an astronomer oc in the straw hats for YEARS and years! probably the oldest "concept" i've had for an opoc but i've never been able to settle on anything else (indecision is a bitch) and then one day years back the phrase "her body belongs to the sea, but her heart, the stars" slammed into my brain at mach speed. and i was like holy shit a mermaid astronomer would be Really Good actually? the dichotomy and yet the parallel of the ocean and space ya know? so she rotated in my brain for a bit and then i hit her with the tsundere stick. bc i like the personality diversity of the straw hats and went "ya know.... they don't really have a traditional tsundere do they". and nel was born. or well a version of nel she's had so many iterations over the years *laughs in nervous*
#allie answers#nel tag#cioelle#my beloved..... she's going through something of a revamp? ish?#to flesh out some stuff and smooth out others#and also bc i cant settle on a design for her AUGH#its hard out here for a person with aphantasia who can't draw but also needs to look at her blorbos at all times 😔#also thank you for the ask!!!! u have been promoted from goon to henchman
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